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In between her inner and outer selves there is a small cute contradiction, which nags her all the time. Just like the small kid, who twists you and calls “mum” 1000 times, if needed. 
The small cute contradiction has been living with her since 10 years already. At first she did not notice her, but later her demanding “mum’s became so loud that there was no way to ignore, forget or just leave. At first it irritated her. They were fighting all the time and sometimes when the contradiction was becoming unbearable she was slapping her cheek. And what made her even madder, the contradiction only smiled at her after that.

The Fate had made fun of her. She had plans, she knew what she wanted and she knew what to do in order to get what she wants. Then the Fate interfiered and they started playing an unfair game. She was making different steps towards her dreams and affront of each step the Fate was putting a high barer. One by one she was climbing the barrier, jumping it down from the other side only to see the next barer to climb. 

When fate saw that barriers may not help, it started another strategy. Fate mixed her up from within. Then Fate made its hardest blow. It made her go back to her roots, which had become foreign to her long ago and made her live in a place, where everything was against her major life principals, a place which was so far away from her dreams.

With each year she was getting older, her dreams further and her goals uncertain.

She felt like a flower, which was put in a pot too small for it, in a place where the light was not enough and given to someone, who watered it only when it looked almost dead.
She, like the flower tried hard not to get too big, in order to fit somehow in the pot and was turning its head to the window in order to get at least a bit of sun. As to the water, which in her case was her inner peace, she couldn’t do much. It was never sufficient.

Then, at some point, the fight with the Fate stopped because she gave up and started following its rules. She almost became ordinary even… Fortunately almost. And as a result of the small but certain “almost” that small cute contradiction was born.

When some time passed and she realized that the contradiction wasn’t such a bad thing after all, she started realizing its importance and its role in her life. 
After all that contradiction was the slight hope and the narrow sunray cracking the dark. It was what was left from her dreams and plans.

And as long as that contradiction existed, she knew that she was almost ordinary and her dreams were almost dead.

As far as it wasn’t final, she still could play with the Fate, talk to the Contradiction and stay pregnant with hope!